I have lost of all of my fear.
Perhaps because I had done so much damage, especially to my own mind and heart, by the time I was 24. And for a while, I lost everything familiar and everyone I thought I loved. But, I was willing to repent and learn to be a better person. You must be alone to do this. With fewer distractions, you can realize what your abilities truly are, and start learning from the softer voices that our society and media doesn’t support. This type of freedom is what gives you the great opportunities in life, and all you have to do is trust where your heart leads you.
But first… your heart must be broken, as they say. This is what it means to come to earth and develop a physical existence around a breath. That breath is your soul.
Here I am next to my boyfriend, leaving the office after working extra hours on the weekend.
In 2005 I was living in Athens, GA and managing a group of employees for a b2b telemarketing “post.” I can finally call it that and not a job, now that I know: this wasn’t an independent business like I thought, but ultimately government approved and, although not government funded, we were providing market research data, personal statistics, and personal information that would be used for the most evil corporate schemes in our world today. For my own safety, I’ll say – I do not blame the system itself; and of course everything comes down to individuals. But genetically modified food and a worldwide embargo on, not just food crops, but the earth itself, AND the mind of humanity? Someone has got to take responsibility for this. Although I had no idea the evil I was contributing to and could totally take that road and forget about this: I refuse. I will take responsibility, and I will let you know what happened, along with what you can do. This is part one.
At my job, I already took a lot of verbal abuse via telephone from the vice president who kept a comfortable distance at the fancy “headquarters” in Atlanta. I couldn’t get it at the time, but I do now. You see, I got great results from my employees and gave them great communications, sales, and customer service training. But, no matter what I did, I could never gain her approval. You might be surprised that I’m telling you she’s a woman, but yes, sadly… and she was one of a few female psychopaths I’ve met. In fact, I never use the term if I’m not serious, now that I’ve experienced a corporate psychopath this closely. She seemed to want to turn me into a psychopath, too. That would not happen at work or with my employees, because I am a naturally charismatic person, but it did affect my relationship with my boyfriend and to this day, he and I will never talk again. This boyfriend was the one who was lured to work for this company and that’s how I eventually was recruited, and then I worked my way up, from caller, to supervisor to “Operations Manager,” which I was for this office. But, when I got my business cards, and they only printed me about 20 (saying that was all they get at the time), I saw that my title read “project manager.” I didn’t have to ask, the president was ready with the lie: “oh yeah, the secretary got that wrong.” And naively I replied, “Good thing you didn’t get too many… we’ll just fix that on the next batch of cards.”
I’ve only recently discovered I was nothing more than a project manager, and my days along with everyone else’s, were literally numbered… some of us, previous to our employment, as was the case for me and a couple of my employees who practiced a religion relating to ancient Egypt. I was chosen to ascend with the company because of my aptitude with the following… My ability as a caller. I was the lead caller for an almost impossible market research project to gain farmers’ knowledge and opinions of [GMO] seeds and pesticides… the names I remember off the top of my head are Syngenta, Gustafson, Round-up Ready, Corn borer pesticide/restistence… We were offering money because we knew no one would naturally want to talk to a stranger for 30 minutes about any product. And a few farmers said they were “organic” and hung up… (I still have trouble dealing with how I overlooked this!) As I realized that the survey was not going to be persuasive in itself, I began to add to the script “because you are such an experienced farmer…” or “we could really use your opinion, sir.” As I related to each farmer individually, they willingly answered every one of my questions, which provided the market research that CMEgroup used to market these GMOs through the commodities system (the game above the stock market). If they knew how farmers felt about the products, proper decisions on marketing and distribution could be made, and futures could be computed through the, now lighting-fast system, all traded and sold completely by machine… just numbers going up and down. The questions basically discussed what the farmer’s past habits were when it came to pesticides.. and had they ever heard of some these pest resistant seeds such as…. I guess they were trying to see if any of the farmers were getting the bad news about these new seeds. From what I can remember the answer was an overwhelming “no,” the scientists were being adequately suppressed, and about 95% of the farmers I spoke with did not have a negative opinion about the seeds. This is not to say they were jumping up to invest, but they seemed to think they would have a choice. This was not the only project that required speaking to farmers. We also called to update subscriptions for a very popular and longstanding farmer’s magazine called Progressive Farmer. Only a few of the farmers we spoke with really knew who was behind our calls, and would yell things “I know who you are! You’re going to give my information to the government! Don’t call me again!” We all decided these people were a little crazy, and now I totally understand: they were defending their homes and farms that had been in their families for generations.
There was an underlying evil (or, unnatural… maybe supernatural. I will discuss the employees I met from Monsanto in another article about corporate personalities and psychopaths, coming this summer 2014) to the business, and the psychopathic vice president was literally driving the other managers crazy, which in turn caused them to act out on the employees. The turnover rate was high and there was no way that this office would be able to manage any more projects unless they got someone who could, not only handle the pressure and create the systems they were missing, but hire good people and make them want to work. That person was me. I rose to the call and typed up everything the other managers couldn’t teach us about the projects because they weren’t on the calls. I wrote scripts that programmed all doubt and lack of persuasion out of the listening for our leads and contacts. Sure, it was simple… I could just predict every negative response from the client, and with a script eliminate and manipulate the listener to believe, not in the company, but in the person they were talking to. I told the employees to truly listen, and actually smile as they spoke even though they could not be seen, because the person listening could hear a smile if it was real. I did a great job, but when it became apparent that I would not give up my personal identity for the company, the main office decided to send a handler.
That’s when the VP decided to appoint someone to oversee our Athens office… and that’s when the most eerie part of the job started. It was the mind marker to tell me “one day, this is what all the blogs will be talking about… corporate conspiracy” (I’ve been a blogger since the year 2000). The programming began right away: “You are all afraid of losing your jobs, aren’t you?” our newly appointed ‘handler’ spoke…
My employees and supervisor, along with myself, were all in the conference room sitting at the large polished table. Everyone looked around at each other, then to me as I was already shaking my head “no.” I had worked so hard to make this office successful, literally installing every work station with the help of a few employees: I knew we had nothing to fear. But, that was because I didn’t know that this was a temporary project… and once our “gods” received the data they needed there would be no need to carry the overhead of this extra office. And, if we all felt like it was our fault that the projects ended, we would never talk about what we did. We were always told that the business did run on a project by project basis. And it was explained me that they could literally close the office at any time, “if the work ran out.” –> How’s that for sustainability? But, I was still living as “Thomas Anderson,” under the thumb of agents, and only discovered all of these truths at exactly this time last year.
Our handler was literally on the brink of death as he struggled with morbid obesity. He had almost died, or maybe actually died, but came back from a surgery that was one of, seemed like hundreds of procedures this man had to endure just to breathe and keep his heart beating. I was mostly vegan at the time, but I did have a deteriorating hip joint condition that I expected this job to help me with… but, they refused us all health insurance if we didn’t pay the company for it, while the employees at the office in Atlanta got health benefits. My handler was a testament to how abundant the health insurance could be. He also claimed to be a vegan, and I could see that he was trying as he heaped lettuce onto his plate when the president would take us all to a salad bar for lunch. But, it was the gobs of blue cheese dressing and nearly fistfuls of ham that he’d put atop the salad that left me questioning this man’s take on reality.
Because my boyfriend during this time was an artist and musician, as was the Athens tradition, I often had the chance to imagine my life as an artist, living the way I truly wanted to live. Perhaps the main office knew that my position was temporary, and I knew it also… one day I was going to find myself and not need to rely on a budget to live life the way I knew I deserved… happily.
And so, I snapped one day… I began to listen to the voice of God. I was already miserable, stressed, unable to sleep well, and rail thin living on cigarettes, alcohol, and far to few calories. It was a Friday, and I made a decision that changed my fate. Upon listening to an inspiration that was literally as clear as the voice of a human in front of me, but was clearly from the ether, I typed up a short memo, which I also sent to Atlanta stating that calling would begin an hour later the following week (and extend calling an hour later toward the western seaboard if they wished, but I allowed everyone to make their own schedule so, as always, that was their choice), and we would call the week “sleep in week.” It was the summer time and many of the employees tried to work especially hard while classes were out at the university. I was sure that everyone needed the break, and they assured me they did. I knew that if we were happier the next week, we wouldn’t lose productivity, and by changing things up I could let the employees know that we were not cogs in a machine.
Well, that is not anywhere near how the main office wanted us to feel, but no one saw the message until that morning. The VP of the company rang and rang until she was blue in the face and by the time I got to the office, my handler was calling, feeling completely justified to yell at me like we were in boot camp and I was a soldier. If you read the The Dawkins Delusion then you’ve learned about the phenomenon that some people do not need evidence to make decisions in opposition. As I tried to make the claim that our productivity was always at least fifty percent higher after 9am anyway, since many administrators weren’t even available to talk until after 10 am, my handler yelled back things that amounted to “How could I think I had the authority? You do what Carol or I tell you to do!” And now the truth is plain as day: they didn’t care about productivity. They cared about predictability, and being able to tell a good story. Letting us make our own schedule would be actual proof of our freewill, something the main office could never afford. I didn’t know much about the company at that time, but I gradually discovered that they had elite multi-lingual callers who either worked at the Atlanta office, or remotely, and the office ran about 24 hours a day (depending on the project load and where in the world the projects were based). Back then, companies still largely outsourced to telemarketing companies to update client records and sell more products (although the trend was beginning to die out), and if you spoke to one of these companies and bought something, that is the day you began to contribute to your global consumer profile. Now most people just type this information directly into the computer for any and all kinds of things. And, there’s finally enough data on enough people from phone calls and records of ALL TYPES… you can expect that there’s an active profile for you, your family, and friends – corporations know the average person better than he knows himself. And, if you will add something to the workforce, it was decided you definitely must be controlled. Corporate leaders (until recently… about 5 years give or take) were taught to dominate their employees, primarily by keeping each level of the business unaware of what the other is doing. So you could be creating art or architecture for the military and not have a clue, especially if you are young, innocent, and eager… like a college student. Essentially, this is because, if each employee acquired ALL of the skills it took to run that business, the business would inevitably change and become unpredictable, or those employees could leave and start their own competitive businesses. If you’re offering something that people actually need, and it is sustainable, & that can be proven by evidence over marketing campaigns; you’ve got it made. If not, you have to trick people and that’s where market research comes in… so, as our media controls the public to think that a full range of emotions makes them crazy or disabled (psychology), corporations can soothe those emotions subliminally with entertainment of all kinds (including, and especially, commercials), and feed them whatever placebo the commodities traders want to gamble with that day, season, or what have you.
“SO WHAT THE #@%$ DO WE DO??
Okay, okay. The question is “how do I deal with a psychopath?” First off, figure out whether you are one or not. Do some research on this, but you should probably have a hunch just considering it. Chances are: you are one or you’ve been treated badly by at least a few and you’ve taken on some of their tendencies. Many times, people refer to their psychopathy as “defense mechanisms.” And let me go ahead and clear something up right now, too… children are not psychopaths. If they do seem overly aggressive they are dealing with a karmic issue and the parents need to address that characteristic with themselves and observe the child (without judgement) as a guide to their success with conquering the impediment or issue. Children are actually the opposite of psychopaths, especially when they are really young (two years old or younger). I mean, ask yourself, how many people burst into tears if you just look at them wrong? That is some serious empathy, which we know, psychopaths lack. Now, many people have been coaxed into thinking it is okay to condemn an emotional or doubting child. But, chances are you might be suppressing the child unnecessarily, and that is why they are acting that way. There’s a chance you’ve just gotten used to suppressing your own emotions, and unlike you, the child is not numb to being suppressed…
So, I guess that’s part of the answer right there. We were all children once…. what experiences, perhaps so many we take for granted, might a psychopath, or dis-empath, have missed during those critical first years. What did you miss when you were very young? And naturally, you’ll remember some things that made you happy, too. Each of those memories ignites a spark in you, that will make you young once again.
As each of us sets the example for tracing the origins of our anti-socialness, we might have a chance to tell the proper story… what could have been. This is the beginning of setting an example for our captors.
Did you go to college? Do you now work for a corporation, or did you in the past? Do you remember any odd conversations or experiences? It is now time to put together the accurate picture of how we’ve been controlled. Admitting you were wrong feels so much better than you can imagine, and earth people have a great deal of damage to repair. Looking away only got us so far, but now we must reclaim our rights as residents of earth. This is not just a radio station for the elites – THIS IS A PLANET AND IT IS OUR HOME THAT WE ALL SHARE.